9 Simple Ways to help yourself on RU OK day
Today is RU Okay day, and I want to give a huge shout out to ALL the amazing parents who are part of the Virtually There Village. What a tough gig it's been for us all this year! Parenting without many of our usual supports in place just highlights that it really does take a village to raise a child. I hope that this year you have found a way to build your village virtually, by staying connected with family and friends via the many digital platforms available to us.
I’ve found it both challenging and deeply rewarding to find new ways to connect, and though I don't EVER want it to replace face-to-face connection, I think there will be some lasting opportunities coming from being forced to imagine and create new ways of connecting. Whether it's zoom drinks with family and friends (Zinks) or Zoom choir (Zinging) or Virtual play dates (Vates), I hope you're continuing to find the personal resources you need to stay connected. I've benefited enormously from attending some online parenting circles and seminars, and being part of a weekly Women's Circle where I get to listen and be heard by a small group of open-hearted women. These are all things I've built into my lockdown weeks, as well as regular Telehealth check ins with my GP and video sessions with my wonderful therapist.
Today I want to remind you how vital to parents these supports are. As someone who suffered acute post-natal depression with my first child, and has chronic health challenges, I know that if I don't take care of myself and look after my wellbeing, then I CANNOT look after the health and wellbeing of my children. I know that we are all in the same storm, in very different boats, but I'd like to remind you that YOUR wellbeing is VITAL to the positive functioning of your home, and your children’s health and wellbeing. And if you're wanting to support your children to grow as emotionally intelligent humans, showing them how to do it is way more important then telling them!
If you're finding it impossible to include self-care practices into your week, I'd encourage you to start today with one small practice. Here's a few quick and simple practices which I find helpful:
Use a face mist or moisturiser and breath deeply for 2 breaths to ground yourself and take a moment just for you.
Have each family member saying what they are grateful for at dinner each day, to help remind us of the good things even when it’s hard.
Sit in the sun for a few minutes to help with your Vitamin D levels, but also to pause and breathe for a moment.
Listen to your basic body messages - whoops - better pause for a sec and go to the toilet! Paying attention to when you’re hungry or thirsty can help improve your mood – your mind can’t function at its best if your body needs attention.
Have a boogie to your favourite daggy 80s tune. Getting moving can sometimes feel like such a big ask, but this is a great way to release a few happy endorphins!
Ask for or give a hug; this is especially hard when we’re being told constantly to socially distance, but physical contact is an important human need.
Sit with a cuppa (okay, mostly for me this is done while I'm reading to a toddler, but so long as I hold onto that self-care intention, it DOES make a positive difference to my mood).
Get to bed earlier. Sleep is such an important part of our mental health, and even if it’s only a half hour or so, it’s an easy way to commit to yourself and your health.
Stop and smell a flower or two. Spring is here and the flowers are out – this is a great way to remind yourself to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
And if you're finding that none of the simple practices are helping you out of anxiety, low mood, extreme irritability or sadness, please reach out for professional support. You need and deserve it - and your family will see the benefit.