Struggle - and Lockdown in Melbourne AGAIN!

Solidarity and encouragement - 

As a parent to a kinder kid and teen, I'm neck deep in the mud with you. Life's been ongoingly pretty challenging here in the Morrison household and it's hard to imagine how we can step up another notch when we're still mired in it all. And yet, here we are today, showing up again, one step in front of the other, doing what we can and recognising some of what we've got to let go of.  I wanted to encourage you today to accept that this IS another one of life's shittier moments and let go of all the "fake positivity" messages and be however you need to be. 

Why?  Well, how can you be anything other than YOU in every moment? I find that it takes up SOOOOOOO much more energy to try to contain how I'm feeling or shut out what's really going on. And it doesn't work to make the struggle any easier anyway! I'm battling the thoughts that when I'm shitty it's not good for my kids but realising that actually showing my kids STRUGGLE and being REAL is super important. 

Struggle - 

I'm totally inspired to make struggle matter right now having recently read - "Struggle - The surprising truth, beauty and opportunity hidden in life's sh*ttier moments", written by Grace Marshall (a "productivity ninja" and peer I'm currently journeying with in my business course). So, I'll share a few snippets with you which might just encourage you to keep getting up in the morning knowing that it will likely be a struggle to make it all work! Or perhaps it might enbolden you to speak up to your work managers about the value of your struggles with the impossible juggle of lockdown!

 "One thing we don't talk openly about in the world of productivity is the value of struggle. We speak of it in hushed tones with sideways glances, as an unfortunate affliction. Or we dismiss it irritably as an inconvenient necessity, a harsh reality to just get over. In fact "I'm struggling" is often seen as the opposite of being productive. 
But I don't think that tells the whole story of struggle or productivity. When productivity is just about getting things done, as quickly and efficiently as possible, we see struggle as the obstacle. A sign that either something's gone horribly wrong, or we are somehow not enough.
Not good enough. No focused enough. Not driven enough. Not brilliant enough. Not clever enough. Not committed enough. 

Struggle is a sign of failure. A bad omen. A wrong turn."

 Sound familiar anyone? No wonder we're totally overwhelmed by lockdown. And no wonder we're focused on trying to get our kids to sit down and complete the work given by their teachers, when we think productivity = getting things done and struggle = bad!

 "But what if it's not?
What if struggle is the partner, and the process, by which we discover?
What if struggle is how we stretch and strengthen?
What if struggle is not the obstacle to work - but precisely where the magic happens - where we do our best, most important work?
Whether you're wading in treacle, waiting for the storm to pass or just damn tired of the hustle...."

YES!!! In the storm for sure and doing our inner work and learning as best as we can!

 My Teacher Perspective - 

So finally, from an educator and coach point of view what might be possible with remote learning (again!!) and work and life and... Melbourne winteryness?

 STOP and THINK about what is going to work best for you and your family and kids this week. Dial in the creative possibilities when 1 + 1 doesn't = 2 and find some different ways.

Regardless of whether it's formal or informal, explicit or implicit, we as humans are learning ALL THE TIME! So to think that our kids have to be in school and being "taught" to learn is just the ridiculousness of our current educational system. 

Mostly though, what school seems to offer many parents, is the vital village of support which we so desperately need. So how do we make life work when the village is ripped away from us? That's your creative challenge and I'd like to say EDUCATION DOESN'T have to look like we think it should!

So make learning happen however you need to fit in with YOUR life.

·  Maybe it will look like letting your kids spend time with other kids and their parents/carers playing minecraft or building lego alongside each other.

·  Maybe it will look like sending the kids out into the yard to do whatever they want - mud's aplenty this time of year!!

·  Maybe it will look like getting THEM to cook a simple dinner for the family or prepare your afternoon tea for you with a grandparent on Zoom guiding and supporting them.

·  Maybe it's spending some time in the morning helping your kids find something they'd love to read or some educational watching or a new educational app and then let them get lost in it for a while.

·  And it definitely means when they say "I'm bored" that you tell them it's their responsibility to find things to do which interest them.... not easy to stick with this when the ubiquity and attraction of screens is our constant... and that requires us to be REALLY REALLY clear about our boundaries.

Ultimately, if what the school is providing for the next week is NOT a HELPFUL resource for your kids or you, then ditch it and do your own thing. Anyone want to get their kids to write their own "Choose Your Own Adventure" story in the next week? Or create a giant sculpture from materials around your home?